I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
