is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
