I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
