I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
