oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
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