i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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