you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
