Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
