Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
