when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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