Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
