yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You can't just leave with hair like that
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
