I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
