What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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