Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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