He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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