you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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