I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
