i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Drake has all the answers
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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