What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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