You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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