So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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