Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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