I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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