I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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