also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
