Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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