he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
