come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
