I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
