and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
