So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Boobs speak an international language.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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