Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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