I'm lost and stupid without you.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i've created a new STD.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
