Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
