his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
