She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Why are your pants in the freezer?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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