yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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