You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
