The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
