Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We are all done wearing pants today
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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