I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
