Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
