i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
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I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
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We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I need a burrito and a hug.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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