My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my shit smells like andre
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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