butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
