Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So many bounce houses so little time
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
