THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
