Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
