don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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