i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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