how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize