I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize