I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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