I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
