i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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