Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
