Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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