First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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