so explain again why im purple
no
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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