apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
