Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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