Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
