I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
