I'm lost and stupid without you.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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