She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
