I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
